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Grumpy Old Vegans new song "the Vegan Police"

Grumpy Old Vegans new song "the Vegan Police"

2015-12-25 
| by Grumpy Old Vegans | Posted in Vlog

Here is our brand-new song “The Vegan Police” – lyrics are underneath the embedded video here:

 

 

When we vegans are engaged in educating 
Like we’ve often done so many times before, 
We may hear some other people advocating 
But it’s clear that they don’t really know the score.

 

They will claim that other folks should try reducing 
Or that baby stepping is the way to go.
When we point out this, from vegans, is confusing 
They will tell us that they set their sights quite low. 

 

Moral purity’s off-putting, so they say; 
They all wish we vegan police would go away.

 

Your friend serves you up lasagne in the kitchen 
But you’re not sure if the pasta’s made with egg,
And that pot of mayonnaise has got you twitching
And you’re not quite sure whose pardon you should beg.

 

Those old pragmatists will tell you to be quiet
‘Cause you really shouldn’t dare to make a fuss.
They frame veganism like it’s just a diet
And it’s not about the animals but us.

 

"You are fetishizing dogma," they repeat,
"While you vegan police are prowling on your beat."

 

We have heard of variations of this claim:
Our consistency put other folks to shame.
Our perfectionism’s toxic, so they say;
Reinforces carnist mindsets every day. 

 

They’ll endorse all kinds of loopholes and excuses.
Moral relativist thought they cannot shake.
They are happy if a nonvegan reduces
And one day each week eats eggs instead of steak.

 

It’s a pure pragmatic matter, they insist.
They don’t look on Barnivore when they get pissed.

 

They will call us absolutist and divisive, 
fundamentalist, extremist, and much more. 
They intend to be insulting and derisive, 
But such dross is an interminable bore.

 

If we recognise that all nonhumans matter
Then we must take care not to equivocate,
Because we can dress it up in mindless chatter
But the animals are dying and can’t wait.

 

So while they insist on shouting “vegan police”,
We ask folk to end their use and not decrease.

 

They pretend it’s not about essential fairness
And concede to all our moral claims with ease.
But if justice lies in your sense of awareness
Reading labels’ not a hardship but a breeze.

 

So if we believe in what we’re advocating
We must never try to make a compromise.
And we know that their distraction’s irritating
But to negotiate on justice is unwise. 

 

So while they insist on shouting "vegan police"
We will advocate for fairness and for peace.

 

And when all of their ad hominem are done, 
Our consistent task is an important one.

 

 

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